To be clear, it wasn’t even my senior prank. No, this prank came a couple of years before, when I was just a freshman. I went to a very large high school in Brooklyn, and nearing the beginning of June of my freshman year, the teachers started getting a little…antsy.
“Don’t get caught up in senior stuff” my band teacher would say. “If you hear shouting on the stairs, go back and take another staircase. Don’t be late because you got sent to the Dean’s for being in the middle of a prank.”
I had already heard about previous senior pranks, which included smuggling in three chickens and labeling them “1,2,4” so the deans would keep looking for Chicken #3.
Fuck if I wanted to get involved with that.
Then the day came where my school descended into madness.
For me, it started as I tried to go to the band room down the main staircase, and hear girls screaming and shouting on the flight below. I look over, and see the stair case is covered in water and live crickets, as seniors throw water balloons.
I flipped. I ran up the stairs and down an alternate one to get to my class.
Soon other kids were coming into the class room. They were all yelling and some were covered in wet spots. Apparently the seniors had mixed water balloon bags. some were water, others shaving cream or baby oil.
Haha, right? Ew. Bugs and oil and stuff.
NOPE. NOPE. IT GOT SO MUCH WORSE.
Like fucking Professor Quirrell announcing a troll, some kid starts shouting “Mosh pit! Mosh pit on the first floor!” The seniors had crushed people passing from classes at a hallway intersection into a mosh pit and pelted them with balloons and crickets.
Security gets called, kids are shouting and shoving. One security guard sees a senior who is pelting people with balloons and tries to run after him. BUT THEY OILED THE FLOORS SO NO ONE COULD RUN FAST.
Then people discovered there were even shittier things in those balloons, and no it wasn’t excrement it was GOLDFISH.
LIVE. FRICKEN. GOLDFISH.
SOMEONE THREW A GOLDFISH BALLOON AT A SECURITY GUARD AND IT LANDED IN HER MOUTH.
WAS THERE NO END TO THIS MADNESS?!
Well– actually, there was an end. The whole think lasted maybe 15 minutes. No one was hurt badly throughout the process, surprisingly. A few kids got bruises from slipping, and a few seniors got barred from graduation. It was so memorable that every year after the security got extra strict around “senior prank season” The year after, the senior prank was to put ketchup on the red stair bannisters, and that wasn’t crazy as much as it was gross.