“Mommy loves you…yes she does…yes she does.”

So my mom and I don’t normally text unless it’s something me and my sister need to know financially (aka “The electricity bill is high, please turn it down” or “try to shop on sale, medical bills ran up our credit card”)

But today I got a random message from my mom saying “Just a note to say your mommy loves you…yes she does…yes she does.” and my first reaction was “Are you high, lady? What’s up”. Yet it’s starting to dawn on me that I live…alone?

Yes, this is kind of belated, because my mother technically has not lived here during the week since February. But it’s really starting to kick in. Up until this summer, my mom would come home on the weekends, or Sunday morning, so it never really felt like she was gone. Just  always stopping in. My being alone with my sister just felt like a really long weekend away from Mom, like as if she went away for a few days.

I’m still in a weird middle state, because my mom does pay for our things. Her job situation forced her to move out prematurely, leaving me an unemployed college kid, and my sister who just recently graduated high school. No part-time minimum wage job would support the two of us without dropping out of school. So I’m in a stage of arrested development. I cook and clean and shop for the house like an adult, but I’m still tied to my mom’s wallet.

I know she misses us. She sometimes cries when she comes home because she feels guilty she left. This past family vacation was tense because I think she felt we were too distant from her. But honestly, this was bound to happen. Maybe not now…maybe in 5 or 6 years. Sooner or later your kids don’t live with you and the communication levels drop.

I do miss my mom. I don’t miss the nagging, but I miss  the comfort. It’s hard coming home and knowing this is what I have to do. I have to be mom and sister, not financially, but morally. It’s difficult to say no to “Let’s buy a ton of gushers and fruit roll up” because fuck yeah I want that, but no, remember, the bills are high.

And yes. I know people have it worse. I’m very fortunate. But it still means something that I get this message from my mom and I’m now looking at it and crying. I’m just now starting to acknowledge the luxury of knowing someone was home waiting for you. Knowing if your day was bad, they would heat up dinner and let you cry. I don’t get that luxury anymore.

For now, I have this text message, and a list of groceries for my sister’s dinner tonight.

Feminist Breakdown: Bridesmaids, pt. 1 (Annie, Helen, Lillian)

Yes, I know that since it’s premiere in 2011 it’s been cross analyzed to death.

However, Bridesmaids still continues to be a film brought up when discussing all female casts, feminism in film, and it’s place in mainstream Hollywood. Here (Pt.1), we’ll break down some of the main cast and determine whether or not their characters brought genuine issues to the table of comedy.

Upcoming: Part 2: Rita, Becca, Megan + Part 3: Bridesmaids and Feminism

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Don’t Be A Creep! : Guidelines for those attending New York Comic Con

As it is now officially October 9th, New York Comic Con 2014 is about to begin! No matter how excited you are for the con,or how seasoned, here’s a few tips to remember when attending NYCC (or any con for that matter).

Cosplayers are people too

  • The cosplayer obviously sitting down to rest, or eating, may not want to take a photo. If a cosplayer is resting, don’t disturb them.
  • ALWAYS ask to take a photo. No one likes a creep-o snapping photos of cosplayers when they aren’t aware of it. Asking isn’t that hard, and most of the time the cosplayer will agree to take a quick photo and pose for it. That’s way better than getting some skeevy shot of Erin Jaeger browsing through anime merch.
  • Inform the cosplayer if you’ll be posting photos to a blog/website. While it’s assumed that any pictures a cosplayer poses for will end up online, the heads up can at least give the cosplayer some idea of where to find their image. Some cosplayers collect the pictures, others just want to know where it is.
  • IT DOES NOT MATTER if a cosplayer is not the sex/race/body type of the character they are cosplaying. That person connects with that character, and feels strongly enough to wear it in public. That takes time, money, and dedication; and they don’t want your opinion.

Don’t touch, are you serious?

  • Are you five? Don’t touch ANYONE without their permission. This doesn’t just go for weird, 2006-ish glompers who throw their whole body into it. Don’t touch if you’re posing with a cosplayer either. You’re already in a crowded con squeezing past hundreds of people; that cosplayer may not want anymore human contact. If they take your hand, or arm, that’s their choice. Otherwise, just smile and take your picture.
  • Just because they are cosplaying your favorite character doesn’t mean they are your favorite character. Respect the personal bubble.

Don’t be a pervert

  • There’s a toxic mentality at some cons that if a cosplayer is dressed “provocatively” that it’s A-OK to be a pervert. It’s not. Ever.
  • There are many under aged cosplayers. I have seen too many 15, 16, and 17 year old cosplayers have to run across a convention center because some pervert wouldn’t stop hounding them. Cons are supposed to be a fun environment, not one where you must sacrifice your opportunity to cosplay to avoid being groped or harassed by adults.
  • Don’t be the person who makes a point to do interviews with female attendees to point out that they have breasts or an ass. Congratulations, those are things females have. You have proven to the world that you have basic eye sight, and that your idea of “fun” is to objectively reduce female fans to tits and ass.
  • CREEP SHOTS ARE NOT OK, IN FACT THEY ARE DISGUSTING. Don’t take creepy pictures of people without their knowledge. Not cosplayers, not women, not children, not teens, NOT ANYONE. Especially ones meant to sexualize the subject (upskirts, downblouses, ass shots, or shots focused on breasts or groin). That person does not want your attention, or their image used that way. I can’t believe I even have to type this.

Nobody likes an eavesdropping elitist

  • No one cares that you’ve read every issue or can quote every episode. The point of a convention is that fans of all types can get together and indulge in similar interests. Doesn’t matter if they’ve seen 1 episode of a show they really like, or own the box set in mint condition. Knowing more doesn’t equate to loving it more.
  • Yes, some people joined a fandom because “it got popular”. That’s the whole reason it’s popular…. because people keep hearing about it, see it for themselves, and enjoy it. Bragging about being part of it “before it got popular” only tells me you’re not really good at sharing. Sharing is caring, my friend. Pass that shit around.
  • Did you seriously just try to quiz someone on how much they know? I wasn’t aware being a fan meant I needed a degree in this show/comic/book series. Maybe instead of scoffing a fan for not knowing as much, you get excited and tell them all about the awesome fandom they fell into.

There’s probably a million more Do’s and Don’t’s of convention going. Most of which I won’t be able to cover in one text post. But if you have any you would like to add, please add them to the comments.

As a reminder…

If you are a cosplayer or convention attendee and you feel you are being harassed, or have been sexually assaulted, seek security immediately. Convention hosts are becoming more and more aware of these incidents, and will take action. Always read the photography and security policy on a convention website and familiarize yourself with it. A convention is supposed to be fun and safe. Don’t let some pervert ruin it for you.

This is the New York Comic Con’s FAQ page, which includes safety information:

http://www.newyorkcomiccon.com/About/NYCC-Fan-FAQs/

To everyone attending New York Comic Con, be safe and have the most fun you can before this magical weekend ends. I will be there all four days, which I expect to go by like one blurred sleepless day.

~ Ginger

The Ginger Monster is Updating

I have been really sick the past month. For most of the month I was unable to get out of bed, and I was quarantined inside my room because my family was afraid of getting sick. What I have learned is that a month with limited ability to chew and swallow, little to no social contact, and 7 motherfucking seasons of Dexter can drive you insane.

I’m glad that I’m on the mend (although I am getting over an allergic reaction to some medication), and I’m happy to say I have new posts out. October has just begun, and all the spooky feelings I get from the Halloween hype are really starting to get me itching to write more Victoria. The Smiling Man is already up, so go check it out!

The next story to go up will be  Helena, hopefully at a much quicker pace than The Smiling Man.

I will also be working on some body positive posts to celebrate figures of all types, so stay tuned for photos and illustrations!

Hopefully not another month until I post….

~ Bifrostbite